Game of Thrones: A Storm of Swords

So I got onto the Game of Thrones bandwagon a little late. My sister read all the books years ago, but I had never heard of it until the TV show came on. Like most everyone else, I got completely sucked into in and couldn’t wait to find out what happened in season 3. Then I remembered that I had the technology to find out! thousands of pages later… I finished the first two books and I am just starting the third. The great thing about this is that I have absolutely ZERO IDEA what happens next. All I know about the third book is that something awful happens to Joffrey (Thank God!). I can’t wait for that part. Don’t read anymore if you don’t want to know what happens in season 3 of the show.

So for this post, I give you my reactions to the book as I read it:

  • Is Theon dead? I hope he is alive so that Bran or Robb can kill him.
  • What is going to happen to poor Sansa!? Life was bad before when she had the little protection that being engaged to Joffrey gave her and Tyrion was the Hand of the King. Now what is she going to do, especially since the Hound and Tyrion can’t help her?!
  • Jaime gets chapters! Awesome! Although creepy how he talks about his sister…
  • I want Brienne on my side when the zombies come.
  • I should care more about Davos, but I don’t.
  • Tyrion, you will survive them ALL! Bwahaha!!!
  • DON’T TRUST ANYONE SANSA! I don’t know what Lady Margaery is playing at, but I am not sure that she isn’t going to stab Sansa in her sleep. I want her grandmother to be my best friend though and invite me over for tea. She should TOTALLY hang out with the Dowager Countess of Grantham over at Downton. PBS & HBO, MAKE THIS A REALITY!
  • I love you Jon Snow. Now save the world from zombies!
  • Seriously though, where are the zombies? I’m like 200 pages in and there are only hints of White Walkers.
  • Oh, Sansa! Don’t let them seduce you with silks and lace! That goes for you too, Shae! They will hang you both!!!
  • Arya, why did you trust strangers?! What is WRONG with everyone? Have they learned nothing?! TRUST NO ONE! Everyone is going to die, I just know it.
  • Don’t turn into a full time wolf, Bran! You will not be able to become human again and then you will die!
  • SAMWELL! He gets his own chapters! Please survive! I would hate for you to have just one chapter.Keep walking, Sam!
  • He SURVIVED HIS CHAPTER AND KILLED ONE OF THE OTHERS! Sam the Slayer 4 Eva! I was worried. No joke.
  • I feel for you Tyrion, really I do.
  • DAMN! Jaimie is going to be PISSED if Cersei gets married off. Can’t wait to see that happen.
  • Poor Sansa. She can’t catch a break. How did Tywin find out?! Was it Littlefinger? I hate him almost as much as I hate Joffrey. You know what, I hate them all. They must all die! Except the imp.
  • Really Catelyn. You fucked shit up. And Robb?! Way to add fuel to the fire! You don’t have to marry a girl just because you have sex with her! How do you think you got your bastard brother Jon Snow?!
  • If Jaimie calles Brienne Wench one more time, she might cut his balls off.
  • Arya! I told you not to trust anyone! You’re never getting to Riverrun now and now everyone knows who you are! The only reason you’re still alive was because no one knew who you were! Except Gendry. He’s pretty awesome.
  • Don’t hire slave puppy killers, Dany! We’ll find another way! And maybe get rid of creepy Jorah. He’s way too old for you. Wait… I just got to her next chapter and she kills EVERYONE! Take that slavers! You didn’t really think that she was going to give you Drogon, did you?
  • SANSA MARRIES TYRION?!?! Now there is something I didn’t expect. I hope she at least learns to be nice to him, because he’s kind of awesome and will keep Joffrey from raping her. He’s a good Lannister, I promise!
  • Run Sam! Keep Running! Omg. The Nights Watch are flipping out and killing everyone! Event the Old Bear is gone! RUN SAM!
  • Don’t care much about Bran’s chapter either. And where is Rickon?! Lost to the world?!

Ok… I read a lot without commenting. Here’s where we are:

  • Sam is SAFE and found Bran! I am so happy! Don’t die!
  • Robb is dead. Not only is he dead, but they cut off his head and then sewed the head of his direwolf onto his dead body. Poor Grey Wind! I think I may be more upset about the wolf than Robb.
  • Lady Catelyn too?! Well she freaked out, clawed her face and then was killed. Will the Starks never catch a break?! I 100% was sure that Robb was going to make it and now he is dead and so is his mom. Why didn’t they listen to the wolf?! WHY?!
  • ARYA! NOOOOOOO!!!! You can’t be dead! Don’t let it be!
  • Kingslayer, you’re getting a bit of a soft side saving Brienne. I kind of like it. Can she be your sworn shield? She *did* help get you back to Cercei’s vagina alive, even if you’re a hand short.
  • While we are discussing the Lannisters, we can’t forget Tywin, who needs to die in all of the fires!!! He orchestrated Robb’s death! He made Sansa marry Tyrion! Who know what else he is going to do!!! ALL THE FIRES!!!
  • No Lord of Light fires though. I don’t trust that guy, or the lady in red or Stannis, and please let Edric Storm live! Someone has to make it out alive!
  • Maybe Dany will. She does have dragons. Team Dany!!! Make it so!
  • So wait… Jorah was informing on her, which I figured out a while ago, but Whitebeard is Ser Barristan?! I have been wondering where he ran off to and feel like an idiot for not seeing it sooner.
  • What the fuck is Lysa doing? I mean really.
  • JOFFRY IS DEAD. Poisoned, and it was GLORIOUS!!! But poor Tyrion is being blamed! Sansa should have taken him with her.  You know, him and Sansa could have been the ultimate power couple. Politically they would have kicked everyone’s ass and Tyrion could keep Shae as his mistress and Sansa could have taken the Lord of Flowers as her consort and everyone would be happy and the Seven kingdoms would be at peace. Can no one else see this?
  • But more importantly, JOFFRY IS DEAD and Sansa is free. Or is she? I DO NOT TRUST LITTLEFINGER. Make it known! He is bad news. What trap has Sansa walked into? Is he going to force her to marry him too?! Can’t Sansa just live in a romantic song?!
  • Arya’s alive!!! Thank God! Someone had to still be alive!
  • You know nothing, Jon Snow! Now take command of Castle Black.
  • Even Bronn has abandoned Tyrion?! If he dies too, I am giving up on these books!!!
  • Do it Red Viper!!! Be his champion! DO IT!
  • Sansa is going to be married to her creepy still breast feeding cousin?! I can’t feel bad enough for this girl. She is going to snap eventually, just you wait and see. It will be bad.
  • Tyrion is saved, and had the satisfaction of killing Tywin! Tywin literally died taking s hit. AMAZING!
  • Is the Hound Dead? I was kind of liking him and Arya as traveling companions. I hope she makes to to the Wall.
  • Stannis saves the day?! Talk about something I never thought I would say! I still don’t like him, but talk about timing!
  • You could be Lord of Winterfell, Jon! Do it!
  • Wait?! Lord Commander of the Nights Watch? Makes more sense… and GHOST IS BACK!!!
  • Damn the Red Woman. I still don’t like her.
  • How sad is it watching Sansa make Winterfell out of snow?!
  • EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!! Littlefinger kissed Sansa!!!!!!! Poor Sansa!!!! Can nothing go right for her?!
  • WHAT?! Lysa killed Jon Arryn?!?! How can so much happen in these books that I don’t predict?!
  • OMG. He threw her out the Moon Door.
  • ZOMBIE CATELYN.
  • THE END

Well kudos to George R. R. Martin for having a lot of twists and turns that I did not expect. I will be starting book 4 soon. I won’t even pretend to be prepared for what will happen, but I can’t wait for season three to start! In the meantime, enjoy this video that is more awesome than it has any right to be.

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About SwordMistressofMeleeIsland

I am a pirate princess and Governor of Melee Island. I live a quiet life of looting and pillaging with my plunder bunny, Guybrush Threepwood. (I also enjoy reading. A lot. Any book will do.) View all posts by SwordMistressofMeleeIsland

2 responses to “Game of Thrones: A Storm of Swords

  • Kim

    umm… about that thingy with Sansa and the Lord of Flowers…
    … you do know he’s gay?

    • SwordMistressofMeleeIsland

      I do know that he is gay, but I so want Sansa to have something go right for her. In the made up world where her and Tyrion rule the 7 Kingdoms, I like to think that the Knight of Flowers is bisexual and after spending an appropriate amount of time mourning Renley, he comes to realize that Sansa may be a bit of fun.

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