So Bad It’s TERRIFIC

I am ashamed by the amount of enjoyment I received from this book.

I mean, it’s really not my fault though.

First off, we have some time travelling children, which are my kryptonite.  And then there are dinosaurs, which turn every frown upside down. Some of the chapters are even narrated by one of the dinosaurs—which I’m slightly embarrassed to even admit.

It’s just a hodge-podge of ridiculousity and I refused to put it down.  Except when there was ice cream or something good on television.

So, we start off with Sal Vikram being saved from a collapsing skyscraper by a mysterious older gentleman named Foster.  She is the newest recruit for The Agency, a secret group that protects history from the ravages of time travel.  Blah blah blah they live underground in a time loop that circuits between Sept 10 and 11 of 2001.  That’s right, they just repeat 9/11 over and over.  I’m not sure why the author picked that time period, as it seems a little insensitive, but whatever, let’s get to the dinosaurs.  The other prepubescent members of this branch of the Agency are Maddy (a computer whiz—there has to be one, of course), and Liam (an Irish boy rescued from the Titanic whose role is apparently just to ask what things are so they can be explained to the reader).  Foster retires or something leaving Maddy in charge, and their master computer Bob (who is currently reading Harry Potter 6 fyi), tells them that their assigned mission is to go forward in time to save the inventor of time travel from assassination.   They have to grow another ‘meat robot’ (their repulsive term, not mine) to act as a bodyguard/servant to assist Liam in his mission.  One of them accidently picks a girl, and the team is all for scrapping that and growing another one, but once Liam sees her boobs he pretty much decides that she’ll work out fine.

The mission goes awry however, a bunch of sciencey things happen that I skimmed over, and Maddy accidently sends Liam, Becks (the sexy meat robot) and a whole class full of kids (including the one that grows up to invent time travel) back 65 million years into the Cretaceous period.  HAHAH DINOSAURS!!!

The rest of the book is switches between what is happening in the 9/11 time loop (boring), what is happening to the kids in Jurassic Park (more interesting) and what the dinosaur spying on them is thinking (AWESOME).

Unsurprisingly, Liam and Becks manage to mess up the past by accidentally teaching a heretofore undiscovered, highly intelligent species of dinosaurs how to use tools.  Mainly spears, which the dinosaurs use to kill lots of the school children (I told you this book was awesome).  I couldn’t help but love Broken Claw (our sentient dinosaur narrator) and kind of hope that he would triumph over the group of pre-teens (even if that meant the end of humankind).  Liam and Becks mistake causes a tear in the time/space continuum or whatnot, causing the future to be forever altered!  Or at least until Maddy and Sal fix it (looking out the door of their magically [or technologically] protected bunker, we see that the present has changed to a leafy jungle populated by a fierce, scary dinosaur race.   The author never explains why the loss of humankind changed New York’s natural environment from forests of deciduous trees to a humid rainforest, but maybe the dinosaurs were masters of climate control.  We’ll never know).

We’ll never know BECAUSE Becks and Liam (or really Becks, lets be honest) fix the problem—first by causing more problems—and then fixing them.  Who cares anymore, I’m just mourning Broken Claw’s untimely demise and our loss of dinosaur culture.

Final verdict?  I won’t be reading the rest of the series, but this book proves that the addition of dinosaurs can make any book a winner.

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About rhymenocerous

rhymenocerous combines a fondness for hip hop with her love of the serengeti. Her soft spot for kids in space is eclipsed only by her passion for time-travelling children. She eats too much cake and frequently pretends her dachshund speaks French. View all posts by rhymenocerous

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