Game of Thrones: A Storm of Swords

So I got onto the Game of Thrones bandwagon a little late. My sister read all the books years ago, but I had never heard of it until the TV show came on. Like most everyone else, I got completely sucked into in and couldn’t wait to find out what happened in season 3. Then I remembered that I had the technology to find out! thousands of pages later… I finished the first two books and I am just starting the third. The great thing about this is that I have absolutely ZERO IDEA what happens next. All I know about the third book is that something awful happens to Joffrey (Thank God!). I can’t wait for that part. Don’t read anymore if you don’t want to know what happens in season 3 of the show.

So for this post, I give you my reactions to the book as I read it:

• Is Theon dead? I hope he is alive so that Bran or Robb can kill him.
• What is going to happen to poor Sansa!? Life was bad before when she had the little protection that being engaged to Joffrey gave her and Tyrion was the Hand of the King. Now what is she going to do, especially since the Hound and Tyrion can’t help her?!
• Jaime gets chapters! Awesome! Although creepy how he talks about his sister…
• I want Brienne on my side when the zombies come.
• I should care more about Davos, but I don’t.
• Tyrion, you will survive them ALL! Bwahaha!!!
• DON’T TRUST ANYONE SANSA! I don’t know what Lady Margaery is playing at, but I am not sure that she isn’t going to stab Sansa in her sleep. I want her grandmother to be my best friend though and invite me over for tea. She should TOTALLY hang out with the Dowager Countess of Grantham over at Downton. PBS & HBO, MAKE THIS A REALITY!
• I love you Jon Snow. Now save the world from zombies!
• Seriously though, where are the zombies? I’m like 200 pages in and there are only hints of White Walkers.
• Oh, Sansa! Don’t let them seduce you with silks and lace! That goes for you too, Shae! They will hang you both!!!
• Arya, why did you trust strangers?! What is WRONG with everyone? Have they learned nothing?! TRUST NO ONE! Everyone is going to die, I just know it.
• Don’t turn into a full time wolf, Bran! You will not be able to become human again and then you will die!
• SAMWELL! He gets his own chapters! Please survive! I would hate for you to have just one chapter.Keep walking, Sam!
• He SURVIVED HIS CHAPTER AND KILLED ONE OF THE OTHERS! Sam the Slayer 4 Eva! I was worried. No joke.
• I feel for you Tyrion, really I do.
• DAMN! Jaimie is going to be PISSED if Cersei gets married off. Can’t wait to see that happen.
• Poor Sansa. She can’t catch a break. How did Tywin find out?! Was it Littlefinger? I hate him almost as much as I hate Joffrey. You know what, I hate them all. They must all die! Except the imp.
• Really Catelyn. You fucked shit up. And Robb?! Way to add fuel to the fire! You don’t have to marry a girl just because you have sex with her! How do you think you got your bastard brother Jon Snow?!
• If Jaimie calles Brienne Wench one more time, she might cut his balls off.
• Arya! I told you not to trust anyone! You’re never getting to Riverrun now and now everyone knows who you are! The only reason you’re still alive was because no one knew who you were! Except Gendry. He’s pretty awesome.
• Don’t hire slave puppy killers, Dany! We’ll find another way! And maybe get rid of creepy Jorah. He’s way too old for you. Wait… I just got to her next chapter and she kills EVERYONE! Take that slavers! You didn’t really think that she was going to give you Drogon, did you?
• SANSA MARRIES TYRION?!?! Now there is something I didn’t expect. I hope she at least learns to be nice to him, because he’s kind of awesome and will keep Joffrey from raping her. He’s a good Lannister, I promise!
• Run Sam! Keep Running! Omg. The Nights Watch are flipping out and killing everyone! Event the Old Bear is gone! RUN SAM!
• Don’t care much about Bran’s chapter either. And where is Rickon?! Lost to the world?!

Ok… I read a lot without commenting. Here’s where we are:

• Sam is SAFE and found Bran! I am so happy! Don’t die!
• Robb is dead. Not only is he dead, but they cut off his head and then sewed the head of his direwolf onto his dead body. Poor Grey Wind! I think I may be more upset about the wolf than Robb.
• Lady Catelyn too?! Well she freaked out, clawed her face and then was killed. Will the Starks never catch a break?! I 100% was sure that Robb was going to make it and now he is dead and so is his mom. Why didn’t they listen to the wolf?! WHY?!
• ARYA! NOOOOOOO!!!! You can’t be dead! Don’t let it be!
• Kingslayer, you’re getting a bit of a soft side saving Brienne. I kind of like it. Can she be your sworn shield? She *did* help get you back to Cercei’s vagina alive, even if you’re a hand short.
• While we are discussing the Lannisters, we can’t forget Tywin, who needs to die in all of the fires!!! He orchestrated Robb’s death! He made Sansa marry Tyrion! Who know what else he is going to do!!! ALL THE FIRES!!!
• No Lord of Light fires though. I don’t trust that guy, or the lady in red or Stannis, and please let Edric Storm live! Someone has to make it out alive!
• Maybe Dany will. She does have dragons. Team Dany!!! Make it so!
• So wait… Jorah was informing on her, which I figured out a while ago, but Whitebeard is Ser Barristan?! I have been wondering where he ran off to and feel like an idiot for not seeing it sooner.
• What the fuck is Lysa doing? I mean really.
• JOFFRY IS DEAD. Poisoned, and it was GLORIOUS!!! But poor Tyrion is being blamed! Sansa should have taken him with her.  You know, him and Sansa could have been the ultimate power couple. Politically they would have kicked everyone’s ass and Tyrion could keep Shae as his mistress and Sansa could have taken the Lord of Flowers as her consort and everyone would be happy and the Seven kingdoms would be at peace. Can no one else see this?
• But more importantly, JOFFRY IS DEAD and Sansa is free. Or is she? I DO NOT TRUST LITTLEFINGER. Make it known! He is bad news. What trap has Sansa walked into? Is he going to force her to marry him too?! Can’t Sansa just live in a romantic song?!
• Arya’s alive!!! Thank God! Someone had to still be alive!
• You know nothing, Jon Snow! Now take command of Castle Black.
• Even Bronn has abandoned Tyrion?! If he dies too, I am giving up on these books!!!
• Do it Red Viper!!! Be his champion! DO IT!
• Sansa is going to be married to her creepy still breast feeding cousin?! I can’t feel bad enough for this girl. She is going to snap eventually, just you wait and see. It will be bad.
• Tyrion is saved, and had the satisfaction of killing Tywin! Tywin literally died taking s hit. AMAZING!
• Is the Hound Dead? I was kind of liking him and Arya as traveling companions. I hope she makes to to the Wall.
• Stannis saves the day?! Talk about something I never thought I would say! I still don’t like him, but talk about timing!
• You could be Lord of Winterfell, Jon! Do it!
• Wait?! Lord Commander of the Nights Watch? Makes more sense… and GHOST IS BACK!!!
• Damn the Red Woman. I still don’t like her.
• How sad is it watching Sansa make Winterfell out of snow?!
• EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!! Littlefinger kissed Sansa!!!!!!! Poor Sansa!!!! Can nothing go right for her?!
• WHAT?! Lysa killed Jon Arryn?!?! How can so much happen in these books that I don’t predict?!
• OMG. He threw her out the Moon Door.
• ZOMBIE CATELYN.
• THE END

Well kudos to George R. R. Martin for having a lot of twists and turns that I did not expect. I will be starting book 4 soon. I won’t even pretend to be prepared for what will happen, but I can’t wait for season three to start! In the meantime, enjoy this video that is more awesome than it has any right to be.

Dune, Treasure Trolls, and the Last Airbender All Walk Into a Bar…

I think it is important you know that a) I read The Girl of Fire and Thorns by Rae Carson (Greenwillow Books – HarperCollins) in two days because it was so fun and I didn’t want to put it down and b) some of it was unintentionally hysterical.

***Spoilers Below***

Our story opens with our fat heroine being stuffed like a sausage into her wedding dress. No, I am not being mean. That is how they put it. Elisa is fat and has a seriously unhealthy relationship with food. I was actually pretty psyched to have a heroine that wasn’t lithe and athletic off the bat, except that every other paragraph they talk about how fat she is and how she loves sneaking into the kitchen for food. It was kind of beating a dead horse after a while, but I really liked how they explored how different characters reacted to her while she was fat and later skinny. Elisa has gained so much weight in a short amount of time, that she is too big for and rips her wedding dress, for her rush wedding.

Elisa is to marry King Alejandro of Joya d’Arena. She doesn’t understand why he wants her and not her beautiful and cunning sister… despite the fact that Elisa herself is incredibly smart and educated in her own right (She is a wiz at battle tactics!) and happens to be God’s chosen one and bearer of the Godstone. What it the Godstone you ask? It is a diamond like stone that God put into her navel on her naming day and it means that she is destined for some kind of great service. A new bearer of the Godstone is chosen every 100 years, like the Avatar without the cool bending. So, Yes. Large person with a gem in her belly button = Treasure Troll Avatar. Just go with it. It works really well within the world Carson has created.

Despite her obsession with her weight and food (which, I love food, so I could relate to that. They even put a recipe in the back of the book for Elisa’s favorite food, Honey-Coconut Scones!), I really like Elisa. She is only 16, so she obviously has some growing up to do, but right of the bat, she starts asserting herself in little ways. Her new husband is beautiful beyond words, but she is afraid of her wedding night and asks to wait. He agrees and asks if she would like to talk and get to know each other, which I hadn’t really expected. Alejandro is not a bad guy, but I get the impression that he is weak. Elisa is clearly willing to overlook this because he is so pretty. Don’t judge. We’ve all been there…

The journey from her home to Joya d’Arena is long and arduous. Their caravan  is attacked by Los Piedros, all of her things are burned, her nurse is killed, but she somehow finds the strength to save Alejandro by killing one of their attackers who has cornered him… by stabbing him over and over again. Despite being terrified, she is not just able to survive, but protect those around her. She definitely has a strong emotional reaction after this whole event, but she ends up better for it.

We soon set into her life at court where Alejandro has asked that their marriage be kept a secret for now, along with her Godstone. Lots of secrets, but what is a royal court without secrets? Elisa is at least given the old Queens quarters (the King is widowed with a son) and asked to sit on the council. Long story short, her maid Cosme, who hates her right off the bat, discovers her Godstone, then drugs and kidnaps her, taking her on a month long journey across the desert.

Through the desert and to a hidden city, Elisa gets stronger, loses weight, and begins to learn more about her kidnapper, her people, and the WAR that is happening without anyone in the city knowing about it. Cue Elisa becoming a leader of this tribe, and using her Godstone for guidance. (It gets warm when she prays or someone good is around and goes icy when bad things are approaching). I kept expecting characters to call Elisa, Muad’dib and for her to go into the Litany Against Fear every time she started to pray (which is a lot). At least no one needed Stillsuits.

Elisa really starts to come into her own after she is captured by the enemy army and outsmarts and kills their Animagus (crazy powerful magicians that the enemy has the shoot flames and get their power from blood! Only a few exist), escaping the camp. She becomes the leader of a revolution, but it is not enough to hold back the war that is quickly coming to Joya d’Arena. As a bearer, Elisa is too valuable to be on the front lines and goes back to the castle and king, WHO DOESN’T RECOGNIZE HER… and once he does, he is WAY nicer to her than he was when she was fat.

Throughout all of this, Elisa is trying to figure out her purpose and how to use the Godstone for magic like the Animagus do (withGodstones stolen from dead Bearers). The book culminates in four Animagi cornering Elisa, the King, his son, and Elisa’s protector in room. About to die, Elisa instead CARE BEAR STARES them with her Godstone. For serious. It was hysterical and awesome. Bad guys dead, army flees, king dies and Elisa is Queen Regent until the kings son comes of age.

Honestly, it is a difficult book to describe because there is way more detail and love triangles and world building that happen in this book. It was just so fun to read. Pick it up. Read it (and maybe send me a copy of the second one because I really want to read it).

Books & Cocktails are the Magic Combination

A few weeks ago I was hanging out with my friend David and we were talking about books and what we were reading. Suddenly a little light bulb went off in his head and he looked at me and was like, “We should totally start a book club!” I, of course, agreed that that would be a fabulous idea and moved on, not thinking that much would come of it. You see, I often have ideas like, “Let’s join a kickball league!” or, “We should really take some ballroom dancing lessons.” and even, “I heard that in Florida they have a Cowboy Resort! We should do that and learn how to lasso things while drinking whiskey!” Needless to say, I sometimes lack follow through. Lucky for me, David does not!

Which brings us to about two weeks after our story started. I got a phone call from David that went something like, “So Parker’s on Ponce is letting us use one of their rooms for our book club. There will be half priced bottles of wine and I am going to make theme cocktails for every book! So what are we going to read?” And that is when I realized that we were in fact starting a book club and that I was going to be half responsible for it. We picked out books, teamed up with a local indy bookstore, Little Shop of Stories, and the rest is history, so to speak.

On Monday we had our very first meeting to discuss Madeleine L’Engle’s A Wrinkle in Time. AND PEOPLE SHOWED UP! Not just people that I know and thus they felt obligated to show up so that I wasn’t just sitting at the bar by myself, but actual strangers that just wanted to drink wine and talk about books. Which is exactly what we did.

David’s drink was much prettier. This is a random photo from the internet, but you can at least the the general idea!

To go with our book talk, David made a delicious drink that he named The Tesseract, in honor of the book. Those of you that need a reminder, a tesseract is basically like a 5th dimension that is kind of like folding the fabric of space and time and it allows you to move great distances and times in an instant. Along with time and space travel, the novel has strong themes of the battle between light and dark, good and evil. Playing off of these concepts, The Tesseract drink is a dark blue at the bottom and clear at the top, showing a distinct difference light and dark and space. David said that it was how he pictures the 5th dimension to look. I was not thinking ahead and failed to take a photo of the beautiful (and delicious) drink, but below is the recipe!

• 1.5 oz Vodka
• .5 oz Triple Sec
• A Splash of Sprite
• A Bar Spoonful of Cranberry Juice
• Shake well and strain to pour
• After pouring, drizzle with Blue Curacao

For those of you that would like to participate virtually with us, we will be reading Rebecca Stead’s When You Reach Me for September 10 in Decatur, and will be discussing it on the blog that week. We will have a new book themed drink to share with y’all and encourage you to come up with your own! We would love to hear your thoughts on the book as well as your cocktail ideas! You can also join in the discussion at our YA for Wine Lovers Facebook Page.

Battlestar Galactica: The Teen Years

If you know me, then you know that I love Battlestar Galactica, which would explain why I had so much fun reading Glow by Amy Kathleen Ryan (St. Martin’s Griffin, 2011).

***SPOILERS BELOW***

So you have a spaceship filled with what is left of humanity in search of New Earth when ANOTHER spaceship randomly shows up, just like when the Pegasus found the Galactica and everyone was like, “What the frak?! More people?! Maybe they are Cylons…” and then Admiral Cain ruins EVERYTHING because everyone knows that Commander Adama should be running the show… except there are no Cylons in Glow and it is a woman named Mather that ruins everything.

The book starts with Waverly and Kieran hanging out on the Empyrean, discussing the sudden appearance of The New Horizon. According to the plan, two ships left Earth in search of New Earth since humanity had utterly ruined the first planet that had. Jerks. The New Horizon left first and was later followed by the Empyrean. There were light years of distance between the two ships, so The New Horizon had to slow down significantly in order for the Empyrean to ever catch up with them. Which made everyone realize that they had to be there for an important reason… dun Dun DUN.

There was something about the space travel that made all of them women infertile. After years of tests, the Empyrean figured out a solution and let the other ship in on their new found science. Except they didn’t. The captain was kind of a huge asshole and sent the wrong formula to the other ship and made all of the women permanently sterile. Not a smart move considering that they got so pissed off that they slowed down their ship and waited and plotted for YEARS in a nebula for the Empyrean to show up so that they could kill all of the adults and kidnap the girl children, abandon the boy children and then steal the girls eggs so that they could impregnate themselves. What the frak?! It is almost as bad as when Starbuck was captured by Cylons and they stole her eggs and then on top of that, she found out that they were basically using human women as incubators while they tried to create little Cylon babies.

The book alternated between Apollo, I mean Kieran, and Waverly as they try and survive on the two different ships. I was all there with Waverly’s story. She was fighting for her life, trying to save the other girls and keep them from getting brainwashed, all the while knowing that 18 women on the ship were pregnant with her babies and that some of the adults from her ship (her mother included) were on board if she could only find them! She is a strong female character who makes mistakes and is flawed, but is a fighter and kind of sarcastic, which I appreciate.

Kieran on the other had is kind of meh. I didn’t dislike him, but I didn’t like him much either. He just is. His story line gets weird because he is clearly trying to make the best of an impossible situation, but ends up in the brig and they threaten to throw him out the air lock (why are people on spaceships always thrown in the brig? Are they Space Pirates?! And do spaceships ever have an airlock that is designated for throwing people out of it, because that seems to be the main form of punishment?!) because some huge asshole that we are supposed to feel sorry for, decides to take over and rule through fear and pain. Oh yeah, and there is supposed to be some kind of love triangle between violent jerk kid, boring teen and feisty girl. None of their actions made much sense to me. It wasn’t bad by any stretch, but I usually found myself rushing to get to the next Waverly chapter.

I won’t give away any more of the story, but I would definitely recommend it to sci-fi fans. All in all, it is only missing Cylons. The second book in the series, Spark,  will be out July 17, 2012 and I can’t wait to get my hands on it!

A Very Merry Blog-o-Versary to Us!

Not the best picture, but you get the idea!

That’s right folks, you heard me correctly! Today it has officially been ONE YEAR since we started our blog and we would like to give away a little something to say thank you for taking the time to stop by and read all of our random thoughts about the books we love (& a few we felt kind of meh about).

Many of you may know that I am mildly obsessed with bookplates. I think that they are an amazing art form that we have sadly lost as the years go on. For those of you that don’t know, artists were often commissioned to make book plates for people from all walks of life (You can view a few Hollywood icons bookplates here.). They were a) a way of keeping track of your books, and b) a way to express something about yourself as an individual. Bookplates are personal and any time I find one in an old book, I have to buy it (or on one or 2 occasions, take a picture of the bookplate if I can’t buy the book.)

With that in mind, I have created our very own Rampant Reads Bookplate to share with you all today. I designed and carved it myself, with input from the other Rampant ladies to make sure that I adequately captured the tone and feel of our blog. Leave a comment below telling us what you would have on your own personal bookplate and you will be entered to win a set of 20 of our Rampant Reads bookplates to stick in your books. (They are hand printed with an adhesive back so that you can stick them anywhere). We will select a winner next Friday, so please be sure to leave your e-mail so that we can contact you!

Thanks for reading us and if you are interested in more information about bookplates, I LOVE the Confessions of a Bookplate Junkie blog. You are also welcome to contact me at RampantReads.blog AT gmail DOT com.

High Fantasy is a Failed Orgasm, But I Can’t Stop Reading It

STORMFATHER! WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?!

No really. There is a reason, that I don’t typically read a lot of high fantasy even though I often end up loving it.

1. It takes me forever to get into the book. Every time there are new rules and words and beings that exist and you have to figure it out and it takes too long to orient yourself within the world. I started The Lord of the Rings FOUR times before I actually made it far enough in to know what was even happening. This is the same thing that happened with The Way of Kings (Brandon Sanderson, Tor Fantasy, 2011).
2. No Ending Syndrome. This is a real thing that affects all genres, but is most common within the realm of high fantasy. Everything starts to come together and then it just STOPS and you have to wait YEARS for the next book! If it is the second book, I understand it more, but the first book in a series? How do you think everyone would have felt if Star Wars ended right as the attack on the Death Star Started?!

Basically, books like this are the equivalent of experiencing a new lover who just leaves you hanging at the end. When things start out, you’re not always sure you’re on the same page or if you even speak the same language. After a bit of foreplay, you start to find a rhythm and you get excited and you’re into it and start to climax and then… he just stops… right before you orgasm. There. I said it. High fantasy is a failed orgasm.

I wish I were joking. That doesn’t mean that I can’t wait for the next book though. I need to know if the ending is as satisfying as I am imagining it. Clearly I am a glutton for punishment.

The Way of Kings really started out slow to me. It started with a battle and weird animals and someone being abandoned somewhere. Then, we flash forward to a crazy ninja with magic powers on a mission to assassinate a king with his sword (called a Shardblade) that doesn’t just kill you, it seems to kill your soul. Then we flash to a completely different character years later. Ok, so maybe it didn’t start out slow, but confusing. Nothing made any sense.

Somewhere along the lines I got sucked in though. I started to understand the world and how everyone fit into it. Each chapter is from a different characters point of view. Often A new chapter would start with a new character and I would be reluctant to move on to someone new, only to be enveloped all over again with a new character, loving it and then excited when I made it back to ones I loved.

The main character, Kaladin, has become a slave, but appears to have mysterious powers that even he doesn’t understand. Dalinar, is an aging prince trying to understand his brothers murder and how to reconcile his past with his future as he is plagued with visions. Last, we have Shallan, who is a scholar and artist who seems on the verge of uncovering a secret that could save (or destroy) those around her.

The world is filled with war and lust for power and soldiers give their lives in the hopes that they can win themselves glory, power, and their own Shardblade. The fighting is fast paced and realistic without being too over the top gruesome and Sanderson throws in lots of twists along with way. Combine that with well done character development and a compelling story and I am committed to all 1,000+ pages!

This is the first of a ten book series. I wish that I had known that from the beginning! Storm you Sanderson! I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!

Seriously. I don’t know if I can take it. I can’t even find a pub date for the next book. Someone else please read this with me so that I have someone to empathize with me and make guesses as to how Kaladin’s world is going to end.

Books We Force on Our Friends: Middle Earth Edition

I think that I should start be explaining that I LOVE The Lord of the Rings. Aragorn will forever be my one true literary love. Sorry Gilbert Blythe and Mr. Darcy, but it can’t be helped.

The first time I read The Lord of the Rings I was thirteen years old. I had started it about four times previously and just couldn’t get into it. I wanted to love it, but it was just so dense. I had grow up with my dad reading The Hobbit to me and my sisters and parents insisted that if I could just make it to Rivendell, I would be sucked in and thanking them later. They were right. I took those books with me everywhere and read every second that I could, which was a new thing for me. I had, for some inexplicable reason, decided that I did not like reading and went a few years avoiding it at all costs. The Lord of the Rings is what made me love books again.

One weekend, I spent the whole day in bed reading. My mom even brought me lunch to my room. When the inevitable happened and the Balrog killed Gandalf in the Mines of Moria I was sobbing and ran upstairs in disbelief.  How could Tolkien do this to me?! How could my family convince me to read a book that KILLED GANDALF?! I was so engrossed that it never crossed my mind that Tolkien would be so vicious as to just kill main characters. Let’s not even talk about the nightmare fuel that is Shelob. Suffice it to say, by the time Orcs were hurling men’s heads over the out wall of Minas Tirith, I thought Tolkien a bloodthirsty creature capable of anything and I loved him for it.

I cried several times throughout the books, but what surprised me the most was the sense of loss I felt upon finishing them. I wasn’t ready to leave Middle Earth or the characters. We had been through so much together! As I re-read the books, I felt the same way. I took DAYS reading the last two chapters, just so that I could put off finishing the books a little while longer. Fortunately, I have Mark in his constant un-prepared-ness to continue reading, even if I have finished.

Having loved and watched the movies about a million times, I really enjoyed going back to the books. There were things that I had forgotten, and I had been disappointed that certain stories and characters had been left out of the films, but I could revisit them in text. Not to mention that the whole end of the books felt new and exciting, since they were never put into the movies. As much as I LOVE the movies, I have a few minor gripes:

1. Tom Bombadil. He wears yellow boots and prances around singing songs. As Mark over at Mark Reads would say, he is the sassy friend that the books need. (Along with Gandalf, everyone’s favorite sassy gay wizard.)
2. Faramir. The whole point of him in the books to me was to show that there is strength i
   

   From "The Broship of the Ring," http://www.noellestevenson.blogspot.com

   n mankind. He gives hope by not letting his desire for power interfere with the job Sam and Frodo have to do. He helps them on their way and “proves his quality.” In the movies he takes the hobbits to Osgiliath and only through much debate and battle, decides to let them go. I know that the end result is that same,but I it changed his character in a way that I didn’t care for.

3. SAM NEVER LEAVES FRODO. There is no way that Sam would have EVER left Frodo. It goes against his character. I know in the movie he comes back, but he never would have left to begin with (and he never did in the books.)

I know they are trivial points, but they were important ones to me.

Lastly (and not entirely related), as I re-read the series, it struck me that Gollum talks about how the Ringwraiths lived in Minas Morgal for years waiting for Sauron to return. I couldn’t help picturing them waking up & making toast, waiting for the Dark Lord to rise again over morning coffee. It really made them less terrifying for me. This made me and Captain Awesome start to wonder… What Would the Nazgul do?

• Play D&D all night. Witch King: For the last time, no, you cannot be a paladin!
• Complain that the Orcs keep them up all night with their clan songs. Singing at 9p.m. The nerve!
• They sat in rocking chairs on the porch of Minas Morgul talking about how back in the day they were kings of men.
• Lament the fact that black is the “in color” for yet another season. Green would look so lovely against their shadows.
• Lock themselves in their room with Dashboard Confessional albums…the only artist that truly understands their pain.
• Manage their Etsy store, “Black Velvet Uruk-Hai Portraits”
• DDOS the Lothlorian message board for the LOLz.
• Photoshop themselves into Taylor Swift pictures
  

  From "The Broship of the Ring," http://www.noellestevenson.blogspot.com

Thanks to @TimBird @Alyjack and my sister The Llama for their Nazgul contributions. Please feel free to join in the fun and add your own WWND.

A Chimera, a Seraph, and a Girl Walk into a Bar

At Book Expo America (BEA) this past year, I came home with a slew of books. Needless to say, it takes a while to get through that many books, which is why it is September and I am just now getting to my ARC of Daughter of Smoke & Bone by Laini Taylor (Little Brown, September 2011). When I started the book, I had ZERO clue what it was about. The back of the book simply read:

“Around the world,

Black handprints are appearing on doorways,

Scorched there by winged strangers

who have crept through a slit in the sky.

In a dark and dusty shop,

A devil’s supply of human teeth

grows dangerously low.

And in the tangled lanes of Prague,

A young art student is about to be caught

up in a brutal otherworldly war.”

Pretty dark and mysterious, yes? To be honest, I like knowing as little as possible about a book before diving in, so this suited me. My interest was piqued without giving too much away. It took me a little while to get into the book. I wasn’t entirely sure what was going on, which left me a tad lost at first. As information about the world was slowly given to me though, I became absorbed in the story. I wanted to know. What was behind the second door? What does Brimstone do with all of those teeth, who is this mysterious angel and what is so dangerous about all of those wishes Brimstone gives to people? Needless to say, I got swept up in the story. I didn’t realize until I was getting close to the end and there was still too much story to tell with the pages left, that I may not get all of the answers I wanted. I REALLY hope that there is a follow-up book because I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!

This book was filled with magic and flying and chimeras and angels and war and death and secrets and even some sexy. What surprised me was that it could also be funny. One of my favorite lines in the book goes as follows:

“The Wishmonger’s voice was so deep it seemed almost the shadow of sound: a dark sonance that lurked in the lowest register of hearing. ‘I don’t know many rules to live by,’ he’s said. ‘But here’s one. It’s simple. Don’t put anything unnecessary into yourself. No poisons or chemicals, no fumes or smoke or alcohol, no sharp objects, no inessential needles–drug or tattoo–and… no inessential penises, either.”

Bwahahaha! Seriously. I’ve been laughing about “inessential penises” for like 2 weeks now. Good rule of thumb though ladies. Never say I didn’t teach you anything. Moving on…

The story had plenty of surprises for me and the foreshadowing wasn’t always in-your-face obvious. The characters were all bizarre and interesting and I finished the book not sure of whose side I was on and who was really the “bad guy.” I appreciated the ambiguity. My only problem with the book was that I am not entirely in to the authors style of writing. She often uses words that sound awkward to me that would pull me out of the story, like “lostness” and “placeness.” Placeness sounds funny and while it was used in context, there were multiple instances of Taylor adding “-ness” onto the ends of words to give them a new meaning. She also repeats things in threes throughout, to drive points home. For me, saying the same word three times in a row is distracting and again, takes me out of the story. These are small pet peeves that left me stumbling through sentences, but are probably fine to most people. Maybe I am just nit picking.

That being said, I want to note that the copy that I read was an ARC and a book can change very much between the time an ARC is printed and the final book is released… which brings me to my next question-Do you go back and re-read the finished copy of a book if you have read the ARC? I ask because it is likely that issues I have with the story and writing style could easily have been fixed and I could have a more glowing opinion of the book (even though I quite enjoyed this one and plan on reading the next one… fingers crossed there is a next one!). I wouldn’t know, because I rarely go back and read the finished copy, unless the book is absolutely amazing. I know, I should read the finished book, but I only have so much time to read!

I have found that sometimes people will review books from just partial ARCs. Why do reviewers choose to review something when they don’t even have the whole book? How useful are ARCs as a publicity tool? As a publicist, I find them invaluable in order to get the word out about a book and as a reviewer I love picking them up at trade shows, but I have spoken with authors that don’t like them because they feel that often their work is put out there before it is completely done. What do you think?

Books Are Taking Over the Interwebs!

Ok, so maybe not, but I thought it would be fun to share with you the epic and fabulous book related stuff I come across while on the internet… Enjoy!

1. Grow House Grow: A Story for Every Storey- Grow House Grow makes hand silk screened wallpapers inspired by stories and narratives. Can’t afford to cover your house in designer wallpaper? No problem. GHG sells individual sheets for $48 which look incredible framed.
2. The Completed Harry Potter Series in Comic Form by artist Lucy Knisley- We are clearly huge HP fans here at Rampant Reads & this cracked me up and made me go “damn! Why didn’t I think of that?!” On top of how awesome this is, the artist is currently allowing FREE downloads of large-format printable versions of her comics and asks only for donations. Help an artist out and support her work.
3. Wookie the Chew! – I know this one has been around for a while, but it is one of my favorites. Artist James Hance takes famous children’s book illustrations and puts them into the Star Wars universe. For Geeks like me, this is possibly the best thing to happen since Stephenie Meyer said she wouldn’t publish Midnight Sun. And just when you thought it couldn’t get any better… Hance sells his prints for just $10. Still not satisfied? You can buy his book Wookie the Chew: The House at Chew Corner for just $5.
4. The History of the English Language in 10-minutes- The Open University put together this 10 part series on the history of our language. Bibliophiles, lexicographers, and the rest of us lay people can all enjoy, get a laugh, and even learn from it.
5. The Closet Book Nook – Now I don’t actually have the follow through (or closet space) in my house to make this happen, but you might! The Thrifty Decor Chick gives you simple step by step instructions on how to turn your average closet into a reading haven. What I would have done for this as a kid!
6. The Periodic Table of Storytelling – Now storytelling is different than writing, but I think this more applies to the structure of stories, which is very similar in both genres.
7. The Awesome Book of Thanks – This is a self published book by Dallas Clayton with the most fabulous illustrations. I LOVE it (You can view the whole book on the website, but also order it from them. Don’t miss Clayon’s other book An Awesome Book)
8. Out of Print Clothing- This fabulous web site sells t-shirts with out of print covers of classic books on them. I want them ALL! On top of them just being great shirts, for every shirt sold, they donate a book to a community in need through Books for Africa.
9. A Jane Austin Afternoon – This website is simply a soundtrack to listen to while reading Jane Austin, so put on your headphones and dust off your copy of Pride and Prejudice. 
10. Minimalist Children’s Story Posters – These posters are gorgeous and for sale! I very much enjoyed guessing what story each poster was for. Some are pretty straight forward and others I had to give a second glance at. Designers and book lovers alike will appreciate these.

The Sword Mistress of Melee Island Takes on BEA 2011

And so it starts…

I woke up this morning to pack for my trip & finish putting together my bee hive, since my new swarm is coming today. (Yes, I did say bee hive. That is another story to come later.)

No one ever tells you how early 6:30 a.m. really is. I hitched a ride to the airport feeling rushed as always, but with plenty of time. The Starbucks next to the security line taunted me, seeming to say, “Bet you would like to enjoy a tasty latte on your way to your gate. Too bad, sucker! TSA will only rip my delicious coffee goodness from your hands the first chance they get! No coffee terrorists in this airport!” Le sigh…

Getting through security wasn’t so bad & I was able to ignore the surly TSA workers even without the caffeine jolt. I made it down the escalators only to discover the trains out of order. Guess I was walking. I headed toward the moving sidewalks so that I could speed myself along only to be faced with the fact that not only are people so lazy that they will just stand on the moving sidewalk, but they are so rude, they won’t even stand to the side for those of us who would like to use it properly & huff when you ask to pass. However, I did get stuck behind a woman dressed in a corset, booty shorts, patterned leggings & heels, which made it all worth it, especially watching her try to keep up with her boyfriend who was not taking into account her poor choice in airport attire & made her carry their suitcase. Even the Fug Girls would have been speechless.

Now I find myself waiting for my plane, surrounded by a bunch of teenagers on an end of school trip eating burritos at 9:30 in the morning. Oh, how I long for the days when I could eat a burrito at 9:30 a.m. just because I wanted to & not because I’m still tipsy from the night before & burritos sounds like a great idea, but inevitably aren’t.

An excellent start to the week. Stay tuned for more tales of awesome (& of course books!).

Wednesday…

So I had this fabulous idea to live blog the day, only to be thwarted by poor cell reception & a dead phone battery. BUT the day was amazing anyways.

Everything is at BEA. I saw jean rompers, Flavor Flav & a slew of books that kept finding their way into my bag. By the end of they day I had more than I could possibly carry, but was determined to leave no book behind, even with blocks to walk & not a cab in site. On the up side, I have books to give away!

Since I worked Carmen Deedy & Barry Moser’s book signing, we will start with their new book, “The Cheshire Cheese Cat,” signed by both of them! Leave us a comment & include your e-mail to enter to win! We will pick a winner next week.